• Felecia Datus

Signs a Guy is Not Ready for a Relationship

When a woman gets to the stage where marriage seems to be the single most important thing in the universe, the doors of temptation fling open on her. Patience, grace, and feminine mystique are put to the ultimate test. But sisters, here’s one thing to remember; DO NOT approach a man when he is hungry or thirsty!

My dad does not function very well when he is hungry. My brother, who everyone knows is super humorous and cheerful can be a tantrum-throwing baby and completely irrational when he’s hungry (maybe I’m exaggerating a little bit ). But the point is, I have noticed that these two main men in my life don’t like to be bothered when they are hungry. However, my dad would do anything and go anywhere if his stomach is full. My brother can take on the world after his hunger has been satisfied. Boaz, Ruth’s husband was apparently the same way, hence Naomi’s instructions; “don’t let him know you are there until he has finished eating and drinking.” Ruth 3:3.

Naomi decided that it was time for Ruth to be married. She instructed her to prepare herself and go down to the threshing floor where Boaz (the kinsman redeemer) would be winnowing barley (in other words - he was at a place where he was separating trash from treasure). Ruth was to wait for four things to happen;

1. Wait until he’s done his work (of separating trash from treasure)

2. Wait until he is done eating

3. Wait until he is done drinking

4. Wait until he is sleeping

The same instructions are given to virtuous women today. If you notice a young man who you are impressed to see as fit to take on the role of husband, father, and priest, you must ensure that he has done his work of getting rid of “chaff” in his life. Psalm 1:4. Boaz was winnowing in order to get rid of the “worthless” part of the grain. Everyone has chaff and there are some things that you cannot afford to allow into a relationship. From a distance, Ruth waited and watched Boaz thresh barley. From a distance, you must also take notice to see whether this man is actively working with the Lord to get rid of “worthless things” in his life.

Then she had to wait until he was done eating. “I am the Bread of Life” said Jesus. “He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.” John 6:35. A man who is still hungry has not yet come to Jesus, and if he is thirsty, he has not yet believed in your Savior. If this is his case DO NOT bother with him.

According to Health Day News, researchers found that “when people are hungry, they are more likely to be angry or aggressive...the reason why: serotonin levels -- a hormone that helps regulate behavior -- fluctuate when people are stressed out or haven't eaten.” Basically, when someone is hungry, the levels of serotonin are so affected that it causes one to react in anger, irritation, or frustration. If you approach a man whose spiritual hunger has not yet been satisfied, even if it does not happen immediately, sooner or later, he will literally turn on you, simply because his soul is hungry and thirsty.

Finally, Ruth had to wait until Boaz was asleep. “Come unto me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest,” are the precious words of our Lord. Matthew 11:28. Has this man found spiritual rest in Christ? If not, DO NOT make yourself known to him. Too many men are stressed out, burnt out, and have no rest. These characteristics will add stress to your relationship. It is vital that he finds rest for his soul. Also important is physical rest. Does this young man treat his body with respect by resting daily? Does He honor the Lord’s Sabbath and knows spiritual rest?

Note that before God brought Eve to Adam, Adam had eaten (God gave him the command about the tree--Gen.2:16), he had rivers of pure water (Gen. 2:10), he had his work (Gen. 2:19), and he fell asleep (Gen.2:21). All these Boaz had done. Now it’s time for Ruth to make her entrance!

But wait...

Maybe you’re thinking that in order for this man to notice you, you have to do something to make him notice you right? No, Ruth does the opposite...she lies down. She doesn’t make any sound to wake up Boaz. “Ruth approached quietly...and lay down” Ruth 3:7. When the time comes for you to make yourself known to a man worthy of you, you make your self known by not making yourself known. Pro. 25:2 says “It is the glory of God to conceal a matter but the glory of kings to search it out.” If a man is truly a Godly king, the Lord will wake him up to your presence and he will search you out. All you have to do is “lay low” and let the Lord wake him up.

“Do not exalt yourself in the presence of a king...it is better for him to say to you, “come up here,” than for him to humiliate you before a nobleman.” Pro. 25:6,7.

That’s self-explanatory; you don't need to do anything extra to attract a man's attention. If you have to get him to take notice you, then for the rest of your relationship, you will have to fight to get him to pay attention to you. This doesn't negate our need to groom and keep ourselves. I'm referring to moments when we feel that we have to act in a way in order to attract someone. Of course, this advice goes against the standards of the world. But virtuous women do not live by the world’s counsel.

All of this, of course, must be in accordance with the Lord’s will.

32 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All